Grand Theft Scratchy
Begin this episode by entering the marker in front of the theater marked “Patching Soon!”
“What’s with cats and mice, can’t they ever get along?”
Malibu Stacy Seals: 12
Try-N-Save Coupons: 12
Videogame Clichés: 1
You start this episode in a cul-de-sac that feels oddly familiar. Run down houses and cat prostitutes are all around you. Your enemies in this game are cat gangsters and mouse gangsters and their spawners in this level are pimped out gangster vans. The mob members that Marge will enlist are dogs wandering around or trapped in kennels scattered around the map. Have a look around and enjoy the parody going on around you. If you think Grand Theft Auto is the only one going on here, take a gander at the “pimp mice” walking around in purple fur coats and carrying a cane Saint’s Row style.
“I am the Notorious M-O-U-S-E!”
As with just about every episode so far, you’ll focus first on grabbing a couple of collectibles here at the beginning. From where you started, turn around and look in the garage of the house behind you. In the corner you’ll see Lisa’s first Malibu Stacy Seal in the corner of the garage. With that collectible in hand go behind the house to the left of the one with the garage you just left (as you are looking at them). Go around the corner to the back of the house by the water and grab another Malibu Stacy Seal.
You can’t store vehicles in this garage. It has no door and you have no vehicles.
Going in the same direction around the block, go to the next house and enter the back yard. Behind the house there is a very sad looking palm tree. Lisa can climb the palm tree and jump to get the Malibu Stacy Seal on the lone branch.
This is what happens when you try to grow a palm tree in Springfield Vermont.
When you have the third collectible, return to the middle of the cul-de-sac and activate the Hand of Buddha located there. This causes two gangster cats to attack you, so exit the Hand of Buddha to get rid of them, then return when they are gone. In the back yard of the house where you collected the second Malibu Stacy Seal, pick up the blue fuse right next to where the collectible was. Bring it to the house right next to where the third collectible was and drop it in the switch to complete the circuit. This will open the garage of that house. Inside you will find Marge’s first Try-N-Save Coupon.
A garage with a door, yet you still have no vehicles.
Now you’re going to make a little bit of progress. Your first objective is to clean up seven buildings. Go around the cul-de-sac as Marge and enlist all the dogs you can find. There are one or two walking around and about three kennels you can break to get some more. Go in all the houses you see around you with blue markers in the front, and command the dogs to repair them. More likely than not, this will cause either gangster cats or gangster mice to come after you, so do what you have to do to fight them off.
“The only good rap is Saran Wrap!”
As you make your way out of the cul-de-sac, after you repair the last house on the right just before the construction (it will be pink and have a big flower over the door), go to the left side of the house and look for a cracked wall. It will be at the base of a wooden ramp leading up into the construction. Command the dogs to break the wall and get another Try-N-Save Coupon. Fight off the resulting gangster cats.
There has never been a cat that wasn’t up to no-good.
Switch to Lisa and walk up the wooden ramp into the construction to claim the Malibu Stacy Seal at the top. On the way up the ramp, you can also have Lisa jump up and grab the girder and just hang there to receive Videogame Cliché #21.
“Why did I think Grand Theft Auto was about the bus driver, Otto?”
After you have the collectible, walk across the street to the police cars that have been turned on their sides and jump over the police cars. Turn to your right. There on the ground next to another blue fuse is a Malibu Stacy Seal.
You’re up to seven collectibles and you’ve barely left the cul-de-sac!
Before getting on with things, head further up the street to the Stick ‘N Ya store. The two pink pimp vans parked there will spawn gangster mice. Use the Clobber Girl power up between the gas pumps to eliminate the vans and the mice from the ‘hood they produce. When they are cleared out, go across the street from there and get rid of the red pimp van and the gangster cats it spits out.
They could have been taking out each other and saved you the trouble.
When all the threats in this area are gone, look around the area and have Marge collect all the dogs she can find. You should be able to get her up to a total of around 12. You can now repair all the buildings in this area without further incident. After repairing the building nearest the police cars, you will have a place of business called Happy Times. Have Marge jump on the dumpster next to the building to bounce up onto the roof. Go around the air conditioning ducts to find another Try-N-Save Coupon.
“Where’s my bitches!!”
Repairing the last building (the liquor store) will result in a hot dog stand and a Buddha will appear in the middle of the street. Have Marge command four of her dogs to stand on the large steel elevator and then step onto the elevator with them. Switch to Lisa and activate the Hand of Buddha. There are two blue fuses in the area. One is on the roof of the Happy Times building and the other is on the ground behind that same building, near the water. Get them both and drop them into the switches near the elevator. When both switches are in place, Marge will rise to the top of the structure. Exit the elevator, then walk around or break through the boxes to find a Try-N-Save Coupon on the edge of the structure. When you have it, walk back onto the elevator and switch back to Lisa.
There is more than enough room on that elevator for all your dogs, but it’ll only let you have four.
Activate the Hand of Buddha again and this time, remove one of the fuses that you just put in place. This will bring the elevator down to the first level. Exit the Buddha and switch back to Marge. Exit the elevator and command the dogs to break the cables holding the piece of the bridge up. When they are done, drop back to the ground and join Lisa so you can cross the bridge to the next part of the episode.
So we got a little carried away, now you can bring all your dogs with you.
To make this next area a little easier on yourself, run around and destroy all the gangster vans. You’ll also have to watch out for kamikaze prostitutes here -- the scantily clad cats running directly at you with a bomb in their hand. There are six vans to destroy and the gangster cats and mice that go with them. There are several conveniently placed Officer Marge and Clobber Girl power-ups spread around to make this task a little easier. When the area has been cleared of enemies, collect all the dogs you can find and return to the bridge you used to come into this area. As you approach it, look up and to the right of it and you will see a Malibu Stacy card up on the scaffolding. It’s not just a simple task of jumping up there and getting it, however. You will need to activate the nearby Hand of Buddha. Use it to grab the small piece of scaffolding from the roof of the gray building (orange if you repaired it already) that the Buddha is sitting in front of. Place the piece on the lowest portion of the main scaffolding to use as a boost so you can jump up to the top, where you can walk across to get the collectible. This can be a bit frustrating, but keep in mind that it does not necessarily need to land upright for it to be useful as a boost. It will still work if it is lying on its side.
Welcome to the other side of the bridge. You just left the good side of town.
Come back to the gray building (orange if you repaired it already) and go to the back corner (on the bridge side). Hop around to the back of the building and grab the Malibu Stacy Seal lying there by a box.
The stinkin’ dogs destroyed the box in this screenshot! Jerks!
When Lisa has her collectible, switch over to Marge and find the ladder on the side of the gray building (orange if you repaired it already) Lisa picked up the small piece of scaffolding from. Climb the ladder and on the roof of this building for the Try-N-Save Coupon.
Roll over some of the “Harry Toddlers” when you’re done. It’s fun to watch them run.
To repair the radio station, you’ll need to change the music it is playing. On the side of the radio station, jump onto the dumpster and you’ll bounce up onto the roof where you will find a vent you can stick Maggie into. Crawl through the vent and into the office. Follow the ramp down into the room below. When you get to the office, look around the desk by the pink chairs for a Try-N-Save Coupon. Grab it and continue into the sound room with all the equipment. Find the red and green switch under the counter and press the Δ (triangle) button to change the music. You will automatically return to Marge.
That’s What Friends Are For was a bad song even in 1985.
Switch to Lisa and go around behind the radio station to find another dumpster. Jump on it to bounce to the back side of the roof where you can grab another Malibu Stacy Seal.
Head up the other road in this area, repairing buildings as you go, while keeping a watchful eye for gangsters each time you repair one; they don’t always appear, but most often you can count on at least a couple of them showing up to try to stop your progress. If you have been enlisting dogs into your mob, you should be close to 30 members strong anyway. When you get to the end with the auto repair shop, be sure to also repair the billboard and you’ll find a Buddha in front of it. As you look at the billboard, go to the left side it and find the pole behind it. Climb the pole and fight with the random and horribly inconvenient camera angle changes to jump across the series of poles and ledges to the other side of the billboard where you will find a Malibu Stacy Seal on a ledge.
Is anyone taking bets on when someone attempts to sue EA for that billboard?
When you have that collectible, jump back down to the ground and activate the Hand of Buddha in front of the billboard. Pick up the car on the raised lift and drop it off to the side somewhere. Exit the Buddha and stand on the lowered lift beside the raised lift you just cleared. Switch to Marge and activate the red button on the wall near the lift Lisa is standing on. When the lift is raised, switch back to Lisa and hop to the roof of the auto repair shop. When you have it, jump off the roof and push the switch again to lower the lift back to the ground.
They’re never gonna get that car fixed now!
Now get Marge on the roof of the auto repair shop the exact same way, only switch roles. When you’re on the roof, find the ladder that goes up to the ledge with a Try-N-Save Coupon on it.
Admire your mob of 30 dogs with torches from up here.
When all the buildings have been repaired in this area and all collectibles collected, return to the radio station and continue up the street beyond it. Repair the large building on the right at the end of the street and you should be left with only one remaining building to repair. This repair involves an extra step which requires you to activate the Hand of Buddha near the foundation of the building. Out in the water, pick up the top half of this gun repair shop and drop it on the foundation where it belongs. This will make another Buddha appear on the pier across the street from where you are now. You can now switch to Marge and complete the repair of the building.
There should be bonus points for knowing the significance of the Book Depository.
With the Book Depository repaired walk, around to the back of it and pick up the Try-N-Save sitting by the water back there.
If you want, you can pick this up before the building is repaired.
Switch back to Lisa and go across the street to the new Buddha on the pier that was just given to you. Instead of activating it, turn to your left and walk along the beach as far as you can go and you should see a Malibu Stacy Seal in the drainage pipe out in the water. Jump carefully across the rocks that lead to the drainage pipe. We say carefully because if you miss the rock even in the slightest bit, Lisa will drown and you will start back on the shore. Grab the collectible and head back to the Buddha on the pier. (If you want to return to shore real quick, just jump into the water and drown; you’ll respawn on shore.)
If you so much as imagine her feet get wet, she drowns.
Now you can activate the Hand of Buddha and get yourself to the final area of the episode. On the island, use Lisa’s new freeze ability to turn the gangsters into blocks of ice. Pick up the resulting block and drop it in the water to make the water freeze. Repeat the procedure until you have a bridge all the way across to the island.
“Maybe a bridge of gangsters will help us get across. Why not?”
Switch to Marge and as you walk across the ice, about halfway across, look to your right for a Try-N-Save Coupon on the end of the wood piling there.
We probably don’t need to tell you not to fall in the water.
Grab this collectible and continue across to the island and destroy the two pimped out vans and the gangster cats. When you can continue in peace, walk down to the water and then back up under the bridge you just came in on to find another Try-N-Save Coupon.
You’ve been fighting gangsters all episode and now they want you to explore under bridges too!
Switch to Lisa and look for a pipe that sticks out into the water from the beach on the right side of the bridge (as you came off of it). At the end of the pipe, grab Lisa’s last Malibu Stacy Seal for this episode.
For the last collectible of the episode, one would think it would be a little harder to get to.
Switch back to Marge again and continue to follow the beach on this same side. You’ll have to hop around a little corner and then over three pipes to get to the farthest point, where you’ll find another Try-N-Save Coupon.
One more to go!
Go back to the main area at the top of the bridge. Repair the only building up here and then fix the two snack trucks as well. When everything is fixed, a cut-scene will play introducing you to Poochie.
EA would never dream of making fun of another developer’s logo.
As we’ve come to expect, your final boss fight will involve a trip to the distant video game past in the form of Missile Command. You are automatically put into Hand of Buddha mode. Kamikaze prostitutes begin to “fall” from the stage toward the two trucks you just repaired. To stop them, pick up the barrels and drop them in the path of the kamikazes. The resulting explosion will end any attack that passes through it. Keep the kamikazes from hitting your trucks and have at least one truck still intact after passing three waves of kamikaze prostitutes.
If this was at all an accurate Missile Command copy, there would be 3 trucks.
After the Missile Command game is over, you have one more task remaining to complete the episode. You must destroy the stage. Before you get carried away and do it, run to the left side of the stage and get the Try-N-Save Coupon sitting there to complete the collectibles for this episode. Return to the trucks where you’ll have to re-enlist your dogs. Take your dogs to the stage, target it and command the dogs to destroy it. In a few seconds, the stage will come down and the final cut-scene showing the location of the key card.
Last 30 seconds of the episode and now they decide to get organized.
“Uh oh.”
From
Eric
JEZ
Pat
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